The Pregnant Pause:Our TTC Journey

I feel this might be early to be having a meltdown over food but I figured I should share in case anyone finds this funny. As I've mentioned, I'm struggling with pretty intense morning sickness. I'm extremely nauseous a majority of the day (even on medication) and food isn't something I'm crazy about right now. So, last night my husband said he wanted to just order in pizza. Well, for some reason even though I normally LOVE pizza, it just hasn't sounded good the last week. I told him I'd rather have a meatball sub from Casey's or something. Well, of course, subs didn't sound good to Devan but being the wonderful husband he is he went for subs anyway. He decided to hit up Subway because he doesn't like the experience of getting subs at Casey's. So, he drove 10 minutes further down the road to Subway. When he walks in and starts ordering my sub the employee regretfully informed him that they were out of meatballs. I'm sure Devan's heart...

Yesterday, I was getting ready for a big day at work. My boss's boss was coming in to do some coaching and observations on us so I had a lot on my mind. That was lucky because it kept the nerves and anxiety from really kicking in until about an hour before my appointment. I had woken up extremely nauseous that morning so I was expecting good things but you can't help but be nervous after the last two pregnancies we had. This ultrasound had not gone well in either of those. I decided I was going to stop and get myself something to eat for lunch beforehand and Devan asked if I should be eating before the ultrasound. I told him I didn't think it mattered considering it was a transvaginal ultrasound but that got me all paranoid and decided on a corn dog as a snack. I was called into the exam room by the same ultrasound technician who had helped diagnose both miscarriages... She remembered me and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was nervous and she was very positive. S...

Let me start this by saying to all of you women who have dealt with morning sickness or Hypermesis Gravidarum, I applaud you for making it through it. Holy cow. When I was pregnant with Reilly, I did have some on and off nausea but mostly I suffered for debilitating migraines. I always said I'd rather deal with nausea than migraines. That still might be true though I'm not too sure now. Yesterday, I hit 6 weeks of pregnancy and celebrated with a bang. I invited my toilet, a trash can, and all the food I'd eaten at the Super Bowl party the night before and we just had a blast. Yes... For the first time, I threw up while being pregnant... Not only did I do it once... No, I did it FIVE times. All within a span of 2.5 hours. I was completely worthless the rest of the day. I was so nauseous and weak that I couldn't do anything. I was literally confined to the couch all day. At the advice of some of my friends who've dealt with bad morning sickness in the past, I swallowe...

There comes a time in your life where you go to bed at 7:30PM every night... That's me... At the ripe old age of 27. I have never been so tired in my entire life. That includes my pregnancy with my son and the two miscarriages last year. For those of you that don't know me, I'm a pretty energetic person so to barely make it out of bed every day after 10+ hours of sleep is such a strange thing. I've also been blessed with early morning sickness and heartburn. I didn't get morning sickness with Reilly until probably 7 weeks. I didn't get heartburn until closer to my second trimester. To be getting both of these things before I'm even 6 weeks is blowing my mind. I sometimes have a feeling I'm carrying twins but I'm probably crazy. I keep getting that inkling though... Maybe it's wishful thinking. I've always wanted twins. I was a twin and never got to experience that twin bond because my twin was miscarried. I've always wanted to see that bo...

It's been awhile since I posted on here but today I felt the urge to write. I started an email for my almost-two year old son a few weeks before his first birthday. I was reading through the emails I sent him and came across two emails telling him he was going to be a big brother and two emails telling him we'd lost both babies. It's a weird feeling going back to those moments. They feel so long ago even though they really weren't. We were lucky to find out we were pregnant again last week on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. As weird as it sounds, it is perfect. We found out on a day that was dedicated to a man who had a dream. Granted, his dream was a little different than mine but the sentiment is the same. We are also due the month of Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness which is pretty special. What is strange is you'd think I'd be terrified! While I am scared I've also realized that stressing over everything isn't going to help anything. I'm just goin...

We are so close to the second trimester, I can't believe it! So much has happened in the last month I'm not even sure where to begin! I'll start off saying that I found out I am RH Negative (O- Blood type) so I'll have to have a shot at 28 weeks pregnant to make sure that any other babies I have in the future are safe. I also found out I'm Strep B Positive (a kind of UTI) that will require me to take antibiotics during labor to make sure I don't pass it to the baby if I end up with it again. Lots of fun, right? At my 11 Week appointment, my doctor wouldn't even entertain the idea of listening for a heartbeat. I really wanted to hear a heartbeat before my vacation since we would be announcing while we were there. A Disney World announcement... How could we resist? So, I opted to purchase my own doppler and it arrived only a few days later! My husband and I looked for about ten minutes and then we finally heard that blessed sound. 170 something beats per m...

It has been a long time since I have posted and there is definitely a reason for it which I'll get to momentarily. After my chemical pregnancy, I had people reach out to me and tell me thank you for raising awareness. It is often overlooked even in the medical industry. I now know there is a reason God put me through that. I was able to help people and talk to people about it. I was a source of hope for people and that's a pretty cool thing. I even had a close friend who just experienced one herself. So, it's much more common than people think. After I found out about my chemical pregnancy, it made me wonder how many I might have had myself before the one I caught. I know my chemical was caused by low progesterone. So, how many cycles did I actually unknowingly experience a chemical pregnancy? I'll never know and that's probably better. Immediately after the grief of my chemical pregnancy started to wear off, I knew this month we would be successful. I, again, j...